The Honestea Tag–in which we learn what Grim actually listens to other than folk music, her real relationship with Dickens, and that she is in fact, very boring

yeah, so I wasn’t actually tagged for this.

However, in my ongoing failure to actually write the darn fan folktion and put up the folk music post I’ve promised you, I’ve had loads of other ideas. Including running across this tag a second time when Sarah did it. I loved it when Sam did it and I really wanted to have a go myself, so Sarah doing it (I loved it that time too) reminded me to steal it. So here we are.

Also, I’m aware I’m more than a week later. I’m pretty sure from here on out my goal in posting is going to be just posting somewhere over the course of the week, still shooting for Monday/Tuesday, but just sometime in between one Monday and the next. Hopefully that’s cool with y’all?

also hi. how are you? 🙂 Did you have a good week? I hope so.

Now, let us do my favorite thing in the whole world. Let us drink tea.

(this is called the Honestea Tag, and it’s by this blogger. In case you couldn’t tell its name from my title.)

THE RULES

no lies allowed. if an answer is too shameful to expose you may substitute the answer with a gif/image of someone drinking tea.
e. g. my whole life mantra in one gif→ 

 there are optional bonus additions to questions but these are not for the faint of heart. if you complete the tag having answered every question + the bonus additions (no gifs used), you are dubbed a certified tea chugger, and you deserve a badge to show the world that you are not afraid of a steaming hot cup of TRUTH. tag at least one other person (a tea party with just one is not very fun. trust me.) untagged persons are more than welcome to fill it out as well (nothing cooler than crashing a tea party). 

THE QUESTIONS

what is a ‘bad’ (generally disliked) movie that you actually love?

Uhhhhhhhh…….

to be honest, guys, I…dinna ken. This is an inauspicious beginning, I am aware. But I genuinely am quite uncertain if I have an answer to this one.

Oh okay here’s one: I don’t think the Hobbit movies are good. But they do hold a lot of nostalgia for me. I do really enjoy them. I think they’re horrible adaptations of the book, yes. But I am somewhat fond of them as movies.

except for all the stupid CGI overdramatized battle sequences.

And the Tauriel-Kili love story is weird too.

what is your most shocking  reading habit?

I…read ahead.

yep, I do it. That or skim-reading. I’m not proud. I don’t always do it, usually only if I’m really excited about the book. It’s a habit I’ve been trying to break for years.

But yeah. I’m thoroughly ashamed of it but I read ahead.

tell us the number one lie you write in your posts.

I honestly don’t think I really lie, so to speak? I mean, I will obscure personal information for privacy as I see fit. Especially earlier on in the days of the blog. I kinda spilled most of the…erm…I guess you could call it interesting…stuff I was obscuring about myself in my post just after Easter. So now really the only thing I can think of that I obscure or ‘lie’ about is names and locations of myself and other IRL people I discuss. Which is just kinda good practice overall, I think, although I have some blogger pals who don’t and get along just fine. So maybe it’s just my preference. *shrugs*

but yeah nothing too scandalous to speak of here. this tag is making me realize I am a super boring person I guess, lol.

tell us the worst character name you’ve ever thought up. {bonus: share a character name you find ridiculous in a book/movie}

Ohohohoho I’ve got some good ones here. If you remember my ‘my writing journey’ post, these are all from my very first project, at age twelve, which was a blatant LoTR rip-off. But yeah.

Cyrnith? Voldank? Thanrysk? (notice how they all have two syllables because #creativity) Oooh here’s a really bad one: Grerarm. (I remember being kind of proud of that one too.)

Oh okay here’s another really bad one: Athreit (Ay-three-it). That one was my absolute favorite. I was so darn proud of that one. I came up with it after misspelling and accidentally smashing together the phrase ‘a threat.’ #creativity

and as to the bonus, it is no secret that I absolutely detest with a passion the names in the Inheritance cycle. I hate them. So darn much. Especially the villain. I mean. For real. ‘Galbatorix.’ That’s what you think sounds scary, Paolini????!!!

and you may be asking what my general beef with them is, and it’s just that they sound a) too obviously made up b) just stupid. Exactly like my 12 year old self’s names. Except those names got published. So I think that makes it a good deal worse.

I’m sorry, I know I dunk on Paolini a lot. I was kind of scarred by his books, you see. (First time I ever encountered…shall we say…adult content…or at the least…implied…y’know…in a book and I was horrified and also way too young to have to read that nonsense.)

what is the real reason you procrastinate writing your work in progress?

*scratches head* I don’t know why, but I don’t really feel like I procrastinate it that much. Which seems like a stupid thing to say considering how little progress I’ve made on it in the past year, especially in FicFrenzy off season (so to speak). and sure, sometimes I will sit down with the express intent to write and get distracted by something. (Discord or YouTube usually.) And I’d consider that procrastination, for sure. But as far as my overall lack of output goes… it’s far less that I procrastinate and far more that I just decide not to write that day for whatever reason. It could be that I’m really depressed or that I…*trails off*…okay it’s usually that.

here’s the thing. Creative output is exhausting. It’s amazing, and there is absolutely nothing, in my eyes, like a writing high. But it’s exhausting. And it can be quite mentally taxing.

I spent the first…*thinks*…seven? six? years of my writing ‘career’, if you will, outputting like mad–we’re talking 60K in a month sometimes, quite often at least a book a year finished. But now that I’m older, and…more preoccupied with real life…I spend most of my days exhausted and mentally burnt-out from processing stuff. Creativity is way harder than it used to be as a result.

And also…I don’t need it in the same way that I used to.

I’ve said this elsewhere, but there have been many spans of my relatively short life that have been…extremely dark. Many of the ‘normal’ opportunities to consume beauty were taken from us, such as reading, and to a certain extent, friendship. Not a lot of new articles of beauty came into our minds.

For that reason, my writing was kind of a desperate lunge at holding on to beauty, to its newness and its wonder and the different forms it could take. I’m not saying my writing of the time was beautiful, but I do think it was a quest for beauty, for rhythm, for kindness, for sanity, in a situation where I found myself increasingly deprived of such things, as well as permission to quest for them.

So I think the real reason I was such a prolific writer was that I desperately needed it. Writing, I mean.

and now, while I still love it and need it in a way, and while I never intend to quit and always want to be a writer, it is not the only source of beauty or fulfillment in my life. I am surrounded by beauty now, the beauty of good friendships, of honest work, of involvement with a community, of new books and new music and new delights I once thought no longer existed in the world.

So yes. I write way more slowly than I used to.

But my story will wait for me.

And I feel a kind of peace in knowing that.

So when I say ‘I don’t really procrastinate’, what I mean is, I may very well find myself struggling that day and decide to go see a friend. I may feel lonely knocking around the house by myself, and decide to go on a walk, to the chapel, or to a coffee shop. I may just feel so tired and beaten down by things that writing just…isn’t an option for my brain.

Regardless, it is usually a decision not to write, rather than a decision to write and then a failure to follow through with that decision. The most important task for me to do, right now, is to find healing. Writing is still healing and solace to me, but it’s not the only option any longer. And sometimes I decide to choose other options. Especially those that allow me to give something back to the people that have helped me, as helping others, even just by being there if they’re having a rough time, is healing to the one who helps.

and if you’re not thinking by now ‘woah Grim sure took a long while to explain why she’s lazy about writing’ then no judgement, heh. 😀

but if you do relate to any of that, please give me your thoughts on the matter. I’m interested to see if I’m the only one.

what is a genre of music you secretly love?

*blinks*

guys I don’t think I secretly love any kind of music.

I think I’ve made it very clear that I’ll listen to almost anything provided I like the lyrics.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Folk music has my heart; it’s my musical passion and it always will be. In case you couldn’t tell by the fact that my whole blog is themed around it. But when I say I consider it the ‘best’ genre, I’m really talking about the general culture of the genre rather than the sound itself. The sound is still the best to me, but I’m aware that’s kind of subjective. The culture and the history of it is what I consider to be superior to other genres. And if you want to know what I mean about the culture of it, try this post.

What I mostly dislike about modern music on a whole is the general…*waves hands incoherently*…shallowness of it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not cool with the carelessness and sometimes approval with which promiscuity and cursing are thrown out in modern songs either. But what mostly bothers me about modern music is not the sound, but the fact that it often doesn’t seem to mean much. And you might be saying ‘Grim some folk music doesn’t mean anything either. How do you defend Drop Of Nelson’s Blood or Sugar in the Hold or Bonnie Light Horseman against that charge?’

To that I say: even while not every folk song means something, it does mean something in the context of culture. Drop Of Nelson’s Blood is nonsense. Utter and chaotic and delightful nonsense. But there’s a reason for that, and a purpose for the song despite its nonsense. So to me, it’s still…not really shallow.

Now, in general, so long as a song is not morally objectionable, I’m happy to give it a chance, even if it isn’t super meaningful, so long as I enjoy the tune. I listen to things like that quite often, in fact, and I enjoy them as much as the next person. But my main interest in learning new songs and finding new music is that it means something.

For that reason, while I generally am a little more wary of modern music, I will happily listen to anything in any genre if it’s meaningful.

So which genre do you want? *expectantly waits to scroll her day-to-day playlists*

Rock music? I’ll turn on Numb by Linkin Park, Through Glass by Stone Sour, My Immortal by Evanescence, How to Save A Life by the Fray, anything by Skillet, and my favorite heavy metal cover of the Cranberries’ Zombie. While not all of those are super deep, I still really enjoy them, and they mean things to me in their own way. I also think Lord Huron also technically counts as rock music, and they’re in my top 3 bands of all time, so…

Rap/hip-hop music? Despite formerly being most doubtful of this genre, mostly because it doesn’t really…sound pleasing to my ears…my good Sponge turned me on to the work of NF. ‘Running’ and ‘Happy’ speak to me especially. And if you want some type of more R&B hip-hop, I’ll put on Sorry Would Go A Long Way or Dear No One by Tori Kelly. That aside I don’t frequent this one much, but I do enjoy those sparse few songs here and there.

Country music? Guys I am an absolute sucker for a cheesy feel-good country song. I love the Hound and the Fox cover of I Hope You Dance, Joel Smallbone’s Unbroken, and Carrie Underwood’s Little Toy Guns. I actually just like Carrie Underwood’s sound in general, although I’d definitely say some of her songs are far less ‘meaningful’ and far more just ‘I love bouncing around my kitchen to this while doing the dishes.’

Contemporary Christian music? Despite their cheesiness, I enjoy Hard Times and Reason by Unspoken, as well as Rescue by Lauren Daigle and Haven’t Seen it Yet by Danny Gokey, but I will readily admit I am a shameless fangirl of the band For King and Country. Have been since I was…*thinks*…16? While their general sound is not so much my thing as it used to be, I love their lyrics, and their general vibe, and they are probably second only to Lord Huron in terms of non-folk groups in my head, and probably in my top ten bands (most of the rest of which are folk or indie haha). Favorite songs are probably God Only Knows, Matter, and To the Dreamers.

And finally, pop music? For that I will go straight to the sister group Cimorelli, who make mostly covers, it’s true, but their original music I also really love. (Good Enough? Who Told You? Kills Me Just the Same? So good. *nods*) But it may surprise you to learn that I also have some fondness for Taylor Swift. Mostly just fringe-fondness, so to speak. I probably have around ten of her songs in my Apple Music, and most of them I just find fun without really seeing a ton value in them. But there are two, Better Man and Mine, that really mean a lot to me. Better Man because of a memory associated with it, Mine because not only is it a really bubbly, enjoyable love song, but it is also about hope despite family trauma, and breaking bad cycles. Which I…really appreciate.

So yeah. I could go on, but I think you’re probably ready for me to shut up now.

(how did I manage to write nearly a thousand words just for that question.)

if you’re a plotter, what do you really think of pansters? and if you’re a panster, what do you really think of plotters?

I’m definitely much more of a pantser. And I’m here to say how the heck do y’all have the patience to plot stuff out beforehand. For me, the story gets real stale real fast if I lay everything out.

yeah sure when I was younger I occasionally thought ‘y’all plotters need to loosen up.’ And I do think there are values to both methods, and it’s really whatever works best for you. But at this point I’m kind of just envious of y’all’s patience. I…could not do that. Where do you get that. I want some.

share at least three lines of dialogue from one of your first writing projects {bonus: give us the good stuff. your most gruesome butchering of the English language)

Ohohoho let’s go.

Oddly, there’s nothing shockingly juicy in the dialogue of my first writing project. I was attempting to imitate Tolkien, so my dialogue was kind of sparse. And when it was there, aside from being overly wordy and kind of awkward as a result of that, it wasn’t too terribly cringey. Also, I was 12, so I wasn’t butchering the English language that much.

all that to say, we’re going to modify the rules slightly in search of that sweet sweet cringe tea. Somehow I got worse rather than better with practice, for which reason we’re heading for my second writing project. Therein I was trying to write my dialogue like a ‘typical teenager’ when in reality I was more inclined to use the antiquated words in real life and so was bad at making my people talk normally. (yes I was absolutely insufferable at that age, why do you ask?)

also I am going to give this to you exactly as originally formatted. My greatest flaw as a writer at that time was that I didn’t realize I needed to like…format my dialogue into its own lines and such?

have at thee:

Brendan turned to Stella. “Now look what you’ve done! We can’t get back anymore!” “We couldn’t anyway! It doesn’t work and neither does the container and now we’ll either starve to death or get devoured by wild beasts!” Stella retorted. Brendan sighed. “We’ve both read The Chronicles of Narnia. What do the kids do first?” “I really don’t see how that’s helpful!” “Well, they turn out all right.” “But they get helped by friendly beavers!” 

Brendan turned, exasperated, and trudged off in the direction of the woods. “Where are you going?” called Stella. She was calming down a bit. “To find our beavers!” Brendan shouted back.

awww look at the cute little pieces of plywood with *essence of plagiarized protagonist* spray-painted across them. They’re practically dripping with ‘not like other kids’, but don’t you worry. They graduated into being angsty and involved in cringey romances too.

Alas for my diligence in keeping all my files. Now I can never forget what idiotic stuff I used to write.

tell us the title & artist of the last song you listened to. 

I am currently listening to it, and it’s I’ll Come Back, by AJ Lee and Blue Summit. (it’s on this playlist I made for the last post, if you’re curious about it.)

which beloved book/movie character do you dislike & why?

I kind of…have beef with Princess Leia.

I know, I know, it’s bad of me. But she’s just kind of whiny. And argumentative. I find her really aggravating. And I can’t really think of a single thing I actually like about her, aside from the way the other characters feel about her, which is kind of sweet, but also not really ‘her’.

tell us the title & topic of a post you have left in draft.

Let’s see. *scrolls drafts* The thing about me is that many of my drafts I actually intend to finish and post. And some of them I did finish, I just started from scratch because I wanted to come at the topic a different way.

But of the ones that don’t really count in either category named above, I think the most interesting one is probably ‘Accidentally Adulting .1: Grim is the soul of decorum’, which was a start to a thing I had wanted to make a series, basically just observations and conclusions I’d come to while trying to figure out life as an adult and on my own. The first one was about how I am in fact, the opposite of decorum–it was meant to be just a collection of stories about me making an utter fool of myself, told as humorously as possible, all leading to some sort of expose on the importance of taking oneself lightly. The problem is, I tend to be kind of bad at remembering times I’ve actually made a fool of myself, because I simply don’t care that much about most ways in which I’ve done so. For which reason I was having trouble finishing the post. But I also think the whole series idea was kind of stupid. Hence the fact that it never got out of the drafts.

what is a book you pretend you’ve read/would like to read but know you never will? {bonus: share a time when claiming you’ve read a classic/well known book didn’t end well}

see here’s my second worst reading habit: I am a major DNFer. Mostly because I read rather slowly and then forget about the book until it has to go back to the library. Although, when I was younger, having one of my only sources of literature being the intensely not user-friendly Project Gutenberg did not help. I started so many classics without actually finishing them, more or less solely because of the discomfort of the format. I wanted to finish, and I still intend to, because I absolutely loved them. I just never did.

For instance, despite the fact that my whole writing vibe is based around what I know of Dickens, I’ve never finished a full Dickens book other than A Christmas Carol. But I still think what I’ve read of David Copperfield is one of my favorite pieces of writing ever. Dagnabbit why haven’t I finished that…???!!

But I don’t know that there’s anything I can say ‘I know I’ll never finish/read.’ Mostly because I have met very few books I was very opposed to. I think what we are all learning during this post is that I tend to be pretty laidback and openminded about these things. Perhaps too much so? I dinna ken.

also I don’t think I’ve ever lied about having read a book…? not that I can recall, at least.

tell us the title & topic of the most embarrassing post you’ve ever written. {bonus: include. the. link.}

I stand by most of the posts I’ve written, honestly, and even the one I’m about to link to you I don’t think is awful. But I do think it’s not my best work. It was me filling out Christine Smith’s March Muchness Tag, and it was called ‘A Tag I’m Too Late To Do But Couldn’t Resist–feat. an assortment of sleep-deprived Grim nonsense’. Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. That is to say, utter chaos. Have at thee.

AND I’VE DONE IT. I WIN. ALL THE TEA TO ME.

oooh it’s so pretty. I love it so.

I tag Nutmeg and Maya because I’m very curious what type of tea they have on hand. *rubs hands greedily*

I had such fun with this. I hope you enjoyed it as well, reader dear. Thank you for reading to the end! I’ll be back soon. No idea what with, but I will be back soon.

Until then, God bless you, my friend! May you live until you die!

*goes off to make a cup of tea*